I say this like I frequently venture into the woods to go on adventures. The reality of my life goes like this: sleep, work, eat, go home watch TV until I sleep. I shower in there somewhere too. Forever alone? More like forever available. Plus I don’t even think there is any place remotely like the woods near Orlando. Really though, I feel like if I ever was to walk into the woods now, I would be scared that Cato would run out and try to snap my neck. This ends the latest installment of “Why Shelby shouldn’t read books with a big fan base.” It’s like when I thought I was a wizard after reading HP all over again.
I’M JUST A MUGGLE.
Please stop getting Beatles lyrics tattooed on your person. We know you don’t listen to them. You aren’t fooling anyone. If you really want to surprise people get Elton John lyrics. That will get you attention.
Thanks,
Society
I one time posted about making my children listen to Nickelback as punishment when they misbehave. Well first off, add Creed to that list. Secondly, there were so many stinking children at work tonight that I just wanted to put in a tiny room with “Photograph” and “Rockstar” blaring. Except the one that was a killer breakdancer. I would put him into a room with The Civil Wars, The Beautiful Letdown Album, and old Usher songs playing. BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DESERVED IT.
So some guy on the West Clock bus asked me out tonight. I gave him directions to IHOP thus resulting in him asking me on a date. And I being the rarely asked out girl is like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? I told him no because of the obvious reason that I didn’t know his name and I’m awkward. Things I wonder about this include: How did my IHOP direction giving abilities inspire this? I say the previous because if you saw me after work you for sure wouldn’t want to ask me out. I couldn’t have said yes anyways. He worked in the Confectionary. I just would’ve wanted to use him for free apples.
I also currently refer to him as the IHOP serial killer.
(And other concerns)
I get physically upset when anything BUT Phineas and Ferb is on Disney Channel.
I once tried to ROS from work because my feelings were hurt
I do Ross Gellar’s version of the bird all the time.
My mom caused me to have a fear of Crescent Roll cans.
I have a theory that wasps, bees, and hornets are only violent if provoked. Just like tiny people.
People from Florida drive like Cruella De Ville. I am one of those people.
Apparently you can burn yourself with a blow dryer.
Any kind of furniture from PB Teen is some huge production.
I really just want to see Coldplay in concert.
SPRING BREAK YALL.
…on the plains of Oklahoma, a windshield sunset in your eyes like a watercolor painted sky.
This just further proves my theory that there is a Michelle Tanner .Gif for every emotion I have ever felt.
(via ohmyitsvv)
